Every day we are faced with tons of choices. Some choices are trivial like, should I wear these earrings or those? Should I pack an apple or a banana in my lunch? Should I watch Grey’s Anatomy or A Million Little Things? (P.S. the correct answer to that one is both)
Other times, the decisions are more difficult. Many of our toughest decisions are related to whether or not we should do something with our time. Should we volunteer for the bake sale or not? Should we take on that new project at work or not? Should we join that MLM or not?
These choices require a lot more thought and will have a much greater impact on our lives. These things will take our time and energy. If we say yes, we will often have other people depending on us.
Too often when faced with these types of decisions we ask ourselves the wrong question when choosing our answer and the right questions are overlooked.
The Wrong Question
Often when we are faced with a decision on how we will spend our time, we ask ourselves what seems to be the logical question. Do I have time for that?
I mean, it makes sense. If we don’t know whether to do something that will take up our time, then checking if we have enough time is logical.
The problem is that this shouldn’t be the decision maker. We shouldn’t do things just because we have a little time in our schedule. That shouldn’t be the the deciding factor in whether or not we commit to something.
Besides the fact that we often underestimate the amount of time that things will take. So we say yes to the bake sale because we think we have an extra hour to volunteer but we underestimate drive time back and forth and setup time, etc.
The Right Questions
Instead, the first question we should be asking ourselves when faced with a decision is how does this make me feel? Do you feel excited about the new opportunity? When you think about it, does it make you feel light and open or heavy and closed in? Does it feel like you are stuck or making progress?
For example, some people might love the chance to volunteer at the bake sale. They get to interact with other moms and have a reason to bake yummy treats that they don’t usually get to make because who is going to eat all those cupcakes?
For other people, this might mean missing their lunch break, rushing back and forth from their kids’ school and their job, stress, etc. Yes, they might have that hour break, but the added stress is just not worth it.
When faced with a big decision, you need to know first how you actually feel about it.
The next question is how does it fit in with your life and goals? This can be taken a lot of different ways. The bake sale might help you get to know other moms so you can set up play-dates and get togethers. A new work project can help you advance in your career. Joining an MLM can help you start on the road to entrepreneurship.
When making a decision, you need to know how this will improve your life. Sometimes even though something makes us happy and excited it is not right for our life at this time. For example that work project may be new and exciting but it may also mean more hours in the office. It checks off question 1, but doesn’t fit with your goals surrounding quality time with family.
Opportunities will come around again though possibly in a different way. We need to know when it is right to say yes to something and when it is not. It can be hard to say no to something that feels like it will never come around again, but it is important to stick to our priorities and trust that when we are doing our best, more opportunities will come.
The final question is the time question. Once we know that we feel good about committing to something and that it fits with our goals and priorities, that is when we can check if we have time for it.
We obviously shouldn’t say yes to things that we don’t have time for, but this should be the last thing we check. We don’t want to spend our life begrudgingly fulfilling commitments that we agreed to because there was a little time in our schedule. We should be making time for the things that light us up and help us achieve our goals.
By asking these three questions in this order, we are able to make the decisions that serve us and serve the people around us. Not only will we be happier, but we will be making progress toward our goals and living a life we love.
Have you ever used this process to make a decision? Let me know in the comments.
Cheers,
Emily
